People are scared of being alone. So much so that they do anything they can to avoid time with just themselves. They fill up their schedules and do things they don’t want just to avoid being alone. It is something that a lot of people dread and feel uncomfortable about. But the fact is, being comfortable alone is important in one’s wellness.
Being comfortable alone is something that can really progress the relationship with yourself and the quality of your life. It will let you decide what you want to do with your time and energy. While it is important to partake in various hobbies and activities, time alone will give you a deeper connection to yourself and your mind.
Being Comfortable Alone
The truth is, I think a lot of people are uncomfortable being alone and don’t know what to do with their time when they find themselves in a situation where they are left alone for multiple hours at a time.
You start to feel lonely and sad.
It’s ironic to think about because some people are uncomfortable with the one person you are constantly around, yourself. But it’s so true and everyone has felt lonely as some point in their life. Society has programmed us all to feel self-conscious about being alone. We see all these pictures and post of people with friends and we feel like we need to do the same all the time.
This really hurts your ability to be happy with yourself and invest your energy into the things that matter most to you.
So how can you become more comfortable being alone?
1. Use the Subconscious Presents of Others
In an article by Psychology Today , it talks about our capacity to be alone. This starts to develops when you are alone with the presence of another. This means that simple knowing that someone is there for you unconditionally despite not being physical there, can actually help you feel more comfortable being alone. Is assures us that we can go on living alone without the presence of others.
This starts to develop at a young age. Children that grow up without that validation that someone cares for you and someone that you feel safe with have a much harder time being comfortable alone. Even if you did have that love and care, it is still hard to grasp the concept of being alone with being lonely.
The reason a lot of people don’t like being alone is because it makes them feel sad, empty and vulnerable. Knowing that people still support you and care for you even when they aren’t there physically is the first step to being comfortable alone.
A good way to remind you of the people that care about you, is by hanging up pictures in your room or around the house.
2. Invest in Yourself
When we are young and still living at home, we are almost always surrounded with people and family. Especially when you first move out, there’s definitely a little bit of a shock of, oh my gosh, what do I do with myself? Being alone in a way forces you to start investing in yourself and figuring out what you really like to do. Becoming comfortable alone helps you understand what you like and how to go about your life.
You need to start investing in yourself so you can enjoy spending time with yourself and your thoughts.
Have you ever gotten lost in your train of thoughts? The reason that happened is because your own thoughts were so entertaining that you were keeping your mind engaged and therefore, didn’t feel that loneliness. That is the goal of being comfortable alone.
One of the best ways to start investing in yourself and being more comfortable alone is by doing something that you enjoy, alone. Spend some quality time with yourself.
Some suggestions are:
- Take a bath
- Cook a new recipe
- Paint your nails
- Enjoy a spa day
- Workout
- Go on a walk
- Read a book
- Go shopping
The list is endless.
Spending your time doing something for yourself, will help avoid feeling lonely when you alone and improve your relationship with yourself.
3. Get to Know Yourself
There is so much to learn about yourself you probably don’t even know yet. You should be constantly trying to learn more things about yourself. You are evolving and changing without even noticing. Building a deeper relationship with yourself creates more self-love and ultimately helps you become more comfortable alone.
Take yourself on a date and ask yourself questions. This doesn’t have to be literal but getting out a journal or notebook and asking question about yourself will help you create a better understanding of what makes you happy and what you like to do.
Some questions to ask yourself:
- What’s the best part of my life right now?
- Who matters most in my life?
- What do I want the future to look like?
- How can I add value to my life?
- What do I enjoy doing?
- When is the last time I tried something new?
- What are the top 3 most important things in my life right now?
All these questions can help you get to know yourself better and will ultimately help you feel comfortable alone.
Being comfortable alone is an endless journey that we are all continuing to navigate. It takes time and it takes effort. Cheers to your own journey to find happiness and health. You got this!
Read the previous post in the Wellness Series: Navigating Emotions: The 5 Best Strategies to Understand your Feelings
Read the next post in the Wellness Series: Self-care for Young Adults: What is it and Why is it Important
“It’s easy to stand with the crowd it takes courage to stand alone”
“Sometimes, you need to be alone. Not to be lonely, but to enjoy your free time being yourself.”
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